The Elusion of Sleep

Why Can't I  Sleep?

The Elusion of Sleep

This is getting ridiculous.

I am actually starting to enjoy this routine of waking up early and taking a nap later. My eyes popped open this morning at 3:25 AM. I didn’t have to pee; there were no noises waking me up. As I lay in bed, I started to think about the things I wanted to accomplish in the day ahead and things I didn’t want to forget to do. I started writing my blog in my head and then stopped… OMG! I’ve actually given myself a reason to get up this early (and yes, I wrote that sentence in my head, in bed…). My motivation to get up and write has become stronger than my motivation to go back to Health benefits of sleepsleep. Not good.

Because, as we all know, sleep is so important for our general overall health. And if nothing else, maintaining my and my husband’s health has become an overriding priority these days. Despite his obvious situation as an immunocompromised elder over 60, he insists on going to the office for his clients. His services have been deemed “essential medical” (he is an LMFT) and he feels obligated to his clients. I have great respect and gratitude for that; I consider myself mentally healthy and this situation we are all in has definitely increased my stress level. So, I worry. I remind him to wash his hands, the doorknobs, the elevator button and the car door. And then I worry a little more.

As evidenced by my 3:25 AM wake up call.

Luckily, the other elder in this house knows how to sleep and does it well. He even calls it “sleep hygiene“.

I read yesterday that people are not taking the lockdown seriously. I read yesterday that it is going to get worse before it gets better.  I read that in this land of freedom, we might be heading towards martial law. But I also read some good news yesterday.  I listened to and loved Russell Brand’s ramble about what good can come of the coronavirus situation. I read up on planning and protecting. I am braced for the worst (probably I’m not really) and I am seriously hoping for many situations to be even better after this than they were before we started this global event.

In our family, we have this term that we came up with after the death of a beloved family member. Despite the grief and pain and absolute terror that we all went through, we also got closer, lived more deliberately and changed our lives to more closely align with our values. I believe there will be a horrible gift to humanity from the coronavirus.

So here I sit, writing both this blog post (computer)  and my to-do list for later today (paper). I’m going to put things to sell up on eBay. Going to mail packages at the Post Office, staying socially distant. I’m taking a walk and bringing the camera. Checking on the garden. Checking in with clients and doing web work. Cleaning. And making art. There are a few other things on my list. But now, after a cup of ginger tea, I’m starting to feel a bit sleepy…


Ellen Fields is a California girl with one foot in Yucatan, Mexico. She is a massage therapist with a software/web/marketing background, a writer, artist, photographer and eminently distractable. About the only time she concentrates on one thing is when she is giving you a great massage...